So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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