If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
