I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
