I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I checked into jail on foursquare
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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