I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you win again, gameday.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
