You work out of a Hotel?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
