It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
