I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
