Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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