It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
