omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
