lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
