So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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