Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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