She announced her abortion via fbk
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
