using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He? As in you personified your dick?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
