I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
