Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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