you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
