life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
vagina is talking i cant
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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