my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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