Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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