dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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