You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
