No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
