matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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