I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
