So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
