You made me cry and you don't even care
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
