Betty ford says i'm here all night
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
