we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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