And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
