omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
