this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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