I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
