why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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