Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
