Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
