morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
