I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
is wine microwaveable?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
