p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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