I got chris browned last night
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
