Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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