Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
