Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
