Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
All I want is dick and wine.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
