This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
