I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
