Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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