im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
