it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
